Category Archives: meditation

Doing Nothing

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Today I prepare for my preliminary dark retreat that begins this evening.  As I did my morning practice I was reminded of a day back in 2012 when I decided to try to “do nothing”.  While my intention with the dark retreat is to actually “do” my practice, I also am aware that even if I do 10 hours of practice each day, there will be quite a bit of time left where I could be “doing nothing”, since it will be pitch black.  This realization is leading me to reflect on my “do nothing day” experience.

First, what comes to your mind when I suggest a day of doing nothing?

My mind initially thinks, “Oh I’ll not do any of my usual chores. How wonderful! – a day off”  Then I naturally think of fun things to “do” like go for a walk.  And if I’m going for a walk, I might want to drive to that nice trailhead.  Well, if I’m going there, I’ll need to bring food, water, etc.  What I notice is that I’m suddenly planning a full day of “doing”.

When I planned my day of “doing nothing” I actually had to define “nothing”, keeping in mind it really is impossible to do nothing.  My list of okay things looked like:

  1. Take care of dog and myself with food (but no cooking)
  2. Sleep
  3. Be aware
  4. If things I must do pop in my head, write them down
  5. Walk, sit and recline (no “going for a walk”)
  6. No practice, no computer, no reading.

 

What I found is that I slept a lot.  Without a lot to “do” my mind became dull and sleep was the most attractive option.  While I intellectually understand that there is a whole lot happening even within a single breath, I found my mind dulled out when I removed stimulus and I removed my options to create activity.  This is a predictable result of removing stimulus.

Indeed, dullness (drowsiness) characterizes the fourth level of meditative progress.  Once the mind is finally able to maintain continuous placement on its object it tends to “get bored” and zone out.  This is the greatest obstacle to meditative progress.  Many people mistake this ability to “trance out” on their meditation object a good thing. Yet it is a dead end.  True mastery is to be able to hold the object with fresh vibrancy despite the fact it initially seems boring.

I think this is, in part, the objective of a dark retreat.  With all stimulus removed all you have is the essence of life and being itself.  I realize that taking away all stimulus could lead to depression and even psychosis, but it also could lead to a realization of the dissatisfactory nature of all stimulus and a true connection with ultimate reality.  The result of such a retreat depends on the capacity of the individual.  I am curious to see what occurs.  My target is to deepen my ability to simply be.

Dark Retreat – Preliminary Thoughts

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I first came upon the idea of doing a “dark retreat” when I started exploring a nighttime practice.  The instructions, as I have talked about before, are quite simple. One simply visualizes a white “A” at one’s center and relaxes into it. The target is to stay aware of the “A” as one falls asleep.  If you can do this you have the full presence of state of natural light. (Whatever that means.)  This allows you to be aware as you sleep and to be able to easily recognize when you are dreaming.  Hence, your dreams are lucid.

Now if you can do this, great!  If not, Namkhai Norbu suggests a dark retreat may be useful in developing this level of contemplation.  This recommendation spurred me to put “dark retreat” on my bucket list.  I have not yet investigated what the retreat involves, but I know that is requires pitch darkness for at least twenty-four hours.

There is one room in my house that has no windows.  That is a small bathroom. Perhaps that would suffice for twenty-four hours, but it doesn’t really have enough room to lay down in. Ideally, I would have access to that bathroom and the living room.  And since there isn’t a door between the kitchen and the living room, I might as well throw in the kitchen.

Window foam insert for dark retreat

Preparing for a dark retreat by creating foam inserts for the windows. These will be covered with opaque plastic or blackout fabric.

It has been interesting for me to think about what it would take to get my house completely dark.  And beyond that, what activities would need to be given up to maintain darkness.  For instance, while I could turn off the light in the fridge, cooking anything will always emit light.  Or if I want to just adjust my thermostat the light will go on.   And many of you know my attachment to my swamp cooler this time of year.  I hate to give it up, but it requires the incoming air to be vented.  An opening to the outside that doesn’t allow light in may be difficult to devise.

The first step will be devise a way to get the house dark.  The second step will be to plan my lay out of things so that I can find what I need in the dark.  No reading labels during the retreat!  And with no clock to consult, how will I know when I am done retreating?  I imagine I could figure out day from night by temperature changes.  My walls get warm when the sun comes up.

What else will I need to do to prepare?  What would it take for you to do a dark retreat at your place?

Unable to reach shamata

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I have been noticing thoughts arising recently that are telling me that it is impossible for me to reach shamata.  The thoughts were also pointing out without mental stability I would not be able to progress to enlightenment.   I knew it was time to talk back to my mind and I needed ammunition.  I went directly to my teacher (aka Google) and put in the search terms:  “unable to reach shamata”.

One of my favorite sites, The Benzin Archives,  popped up on the first page with a catchy page title of “Achieving Shamatha“.  Now, much of the information was review for me, but I enjoyed the comparisons between the objects used in the different Tibetan schools of Buddhism.  This was useful since my primary background is Gelug, but I have been recently studying Dzogchen.

My favorite part of the presentation was advice from Master Shantideva:

Steadfastness (brtan) or self-confidence (nga-rgyal) comes from examining if we are capable of achieving the goal and, being convinced that we are, applying ourselves steadily, even though progress goes up and down.

The part I like about Shantideva’s advice is that he thinks that self-examination could only lead to the conclusion that one is capable of the goal, while I’ve concluded that I am incapable of achieving the goal.  The very absence of advice to people that are hopeless suggests that I am capable, regardless of past experience.

So if I am capable, where do I need to work?  I am currently at stage four and shamata is stage 10.  Perfect advice for me is:

Mental flightiness (rgod-pa, agitation), a subcategory of mental wandering (rnam-g.yeng) or distraction (‘phro-ba), is a fault of the mental placement on the object due to desire or attachment.

Yes, that is just the issue I talked about yesterday.  I have an increase in desire arising from the expansive energy of spring. This is leading to a “fault in mental placement” since my mind is dancing with the energy.  Yet, the antidote for this is just what I am doing – reaffirming how sexy and attractive shamata and enlightenment are.