Category Archives: Health

Starting Again…. With a Chicken Cam?

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Start again…. Start again….

Ever been in a Vipassana retreat with Goenka? That is what his recording says at the beginning of each session – many times a day as you are sitting for eleven hours each day for ten days.

After taking a decade off from work in the world, I’m gearing up again to connect with society. Even though it feels like my ideas on what to do are fresh, as I look back on my first blog posts I can see I haven’t really changed. This lack of change, but gain in maturity is fortunate. It means I’m not starting over from scratch, just going into an expansion phase again. My interests are still the same: metabolic health, longevity, Chi Gung, energy medicine, food as medicine, using the power of the mind to change things, and our true nature.

So, I’m starting again… I am percolating ideas around providing tools to people that would like to increase their health and longevity. I primarily would like to offer the wisdom of Traditional Chinese Medicine which includes my favorite, Chi Gung (Qi Gong), as well as food and mental training.

While I consider what this entails, I’ve started with some small steps to get me producing YouTube content again. My husband and I have been joking for a couple years about setting up a chicken cam and this March we decided to make it happen. The timing seemed perfect. I had a broody hen sitting on wooden eggs and I was going to give her fresh store bought chicks. It was going to be fun to watch them grow via a spy camera or two.

We never did get a live stream going, like I wanted, but we did get a lot of cute chicken footage. I posted some to the TESLI YouTube Channel and found that people are very interested in about 11 seconds of cute chicks before the swipe it away. Since it’s been a decade since I added content to my channels, I used this as an opportunity to learn about the new features and what a “short” is. I’m currently working on a QiGong – A movement a day series and other more impactful content.

Medical School Update

I got the results of my MCAT last week. Still smart. I came in 94th percentile (517 score), despite bombing out on one section. More importantly, I am studying Spanish one hour each day and for the last two weeks have been practicing Chi Gung (QiGong) 2 hours a day. I feel great! The challenge of the test was an important reset for me.

I have always wanted to be a doctor. And now more than ever, I want to practice medicine so I can help people in the mainstream. However, I don’t want to use mainstream methods. While looking at medical schools I wasn’t impressed by the curriculum. And when I contacted prospective writers for my letters of recommendation, I found that many of my doctor mentors from the past had retired and I couldn’t locate them. The couple people I could find, discouraged me from entering into medicine because of how bureaucratic its become. So, I’ve officially completed my medical school career!

Craving and Medical School

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In Buddhism, craving is considered one of the defining points of the realm we exist in. It is the craving for good things to happen and the craving for bad things not to happen that create this reality. My meditation teacher, Master Culadasa, explained to me that it wasn’t the objects of craving that were the issue it was that fact that we are addicted to the feeling of craving itself. Which supports what other teachers have told me. That once we obtain the object of craving we are quickly dissatisfied again.

Somehow this relates to what occurred for me in December. For a moment I got bored and then depressed. Looking forward at my life, I realized that spending the next 60 years doing art and gardening just wasn’t going to satisfy me. I quickly had the thought that although I had lots of projects to do I needed “a marathon” to get me inspired again. Within a couple of days of holding that thought, I was given my marathon: The MCAT. That’s the Medical College Admissions Test the first step to applying to Medical School and becoming a doctor. That would surely keep me entertained for a while.

Starting out I had no idea of what I was getting myself into. The test is seven hours long divided into four sections. The four sections cover a year of college chemistry, a year of college physics, a year of organic chemistry, a year of biology, and courses of biochemistry, sociology and psychology. Basically a timed, closed book, comprehensive exam on topics I learned 40 years ago. It took me six weeks of study to even figure out how I needed to study for the exam. It boiled down to memorization and repetitive drills.

The more I studied the worse I felt. I never did get physics and it challenged me. I kept drilling, but I was beginning to sense that some of the material I was learning was at a depth I didn’t need. I didn’t feel prepared, but I felt like I needed to do a practice exam. Taking a practice exam was no small feat. It required seven hours. Finally, on February 16th I took the first official practice exam. I was very nervous. I wasn’t sure I could keep my brain going for the that long, and I decided on chocolate as a CNS stimulant.

I was a little jittery, but I survived. The score came in and I was surprised: 90th percentile. I consulted Grok, “Was this an easy exam?” He told me it was considered easy. Okay, that must have been a fluke. I tested again the next week (with less chocolate) and got an identical score. Grok, told me that was an easy exam too. I then tested on the “hard” exam he suggested, practice exam #6 – same score.

I put myself on the wait list for the next official test date, and was able to get a spot. (Thanks to insomnia that woke me up at 3am right when someone cancelled.) I studied for three more weeks. And, anticlimactically, took the test on March 20th. I felt the same level of yuk as I did the first three times, so I anticipate a similar score. I’m not used to taking a test and being so clueless on so many questions. It’s also a little depressing to have to wait until April 21st for the results.

What I noticed about the MCAT study period is that I had no trouble motivating to study four to eight a day for months. This flabbergasted me. I have been desiring to learn Spanish my entire life, but have never seemed to motivate to do it. Also, imagine what 2 hours of daily Chi Gung practice would do for me! Another bucket list item I can’t seem to motivate to do. Yet, the MCAT was effortless. What is up with that?

First, I know that I am personally motivated by external rewards and certificates. And the second was that I knew I could do well. I knew it would take effort, but I knew I could accomplish my target. With Spanish, I have an old belief that I can’t really learn a language. That I just don’t have that ability. With Chi Gung, I think there may have a similar underlying attitude. That I don’t really know what I’m doing or that I could never cultivate the power that masters have.

I took the momentum from all that MCAT study and turned it on Spanish. I am telling myself that if I just put in the time, like I did for the MCAT, I’ll be able to speak Spanish. I’m dedicating an hour of each day to study. It’s been about two weeks and about time to find additional motivation. I was surprised how Grok was able to give me ideas on how to stay motivated.

As for Chi Gung, I’ve been busy with the spring farm chores. Things are settling down now. My first step will be to find my why and what. And then cultivate a belief that I can do it. Third step will be coming up with those actionable steps. It’s all about leveraging craving and desire.

Dealing with Haters

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I was expecting an email and didn’t see it in my in box, so I opened the spam folder and checked for it. It wasn’t there. But I did notice, half way down the list, a series of emails from someone in my neighborhood. I closed the spam without even looking at the subject lines and wondered what this person was so upset about, again.

A few months back we had a chat about some farming thing (biochar) and the conversation went to Robert Kennedy Jr.. Her ideas about him didn’t seem to match my experience of him. However, she had never even met him or listened to him talk. I had. Frankly his knowledge and dedication to his own health were inspiring to me.

Anyway, as time went on she started sending me political articles. Just forwarding things without any comment. At first I took a look, but it became clear that they were not contributing to me. I also noticed that I could feel the charge of fear and aversion that motivated her to forward them to me. After careful consideration, I choose to mark her email as spam so it would simply avoid my inbox.

Today I am wondering what it would take to change the hate and divisiveness in the world.

Last year I was leading “An evening of Visioning Beyond This Reality” in February. One of the guests shared during the introductory time said she just wanted there to be more love in the world. She was very emphatic about this heart’s desire.

Later, after I showed the 5 minute mind movie “I am Oneness” by Nicola Do (find below), she expressed her feelings. She hated the movie and everything it represented. Where I saw ease, she saw repression. Where I saw healthy people moving their bodies, she saw fake, Hollywood bodies. Where I saw the ease that money creates, she saw greed and filthy dollars. I selected this movie as a contribution and was surprised about how much hate it inspired in her.

The fact that she desired love and was putting out so much hate was ironic. And it was a little tragic that she couldn’t see how allowance and love creates more love. Hate, aversion and rejection doesn’t allow for what she said she wanted. She also disregarded how her lambasting the video might impact me, the person that selected the video.

For me, that evening was the end of the “Wisdom Goddess” series I’d been leading. When someone called them entertainment, I realized that what I was creating as transformation opportunities was not how they were being received. I was wondering why I was feeling a little let down after each event. Now it made sense. This is another example of the same thing being seen differently by different people. I also gave up the weekly Chi Gung classes I was teaching. I desired community devoted to inner growth, so I let go of everything that wasn’t aligned with that to allow for my outside world to change to reflect my inside world.

I’m not sure what will change the hate and divisiveness in the world, but I do know what changes it for me. Realizing that this world is a creation of my mind and choosing to cultivate my mind to weed out everything that stands in the way of peace. At this point my practice is to
1. Notice my internal reaction when people say mean things about others
2. Restraining my impulse to lash out or counter with my brilliant intellect
3. Redirect my mind that is ruminating or continuing to think about my great comeback
4. Reflect on emptiness or the dream like quality of this reality
5. Reaffirm what I am choosing
6. Reflect on any possible actions to take
7. Take action and/or let go