Contracture

Posted on November 21, 2015 by Dorena

I have been wrestling with the best way to describe my current experiences. For instance, when I am walking the nine palaces and I focus on the bubbling spring point at the bottom of my foot I have the immediate experience of something within the core of my being that is hard to describe. Is it pain? If so then what is hurting? Is it an intense feeling of energy? Yes and no. It is both painful and intense, yet neither of these words describes it perfectly.

Kidney 1 point at sole of foot. Also known as bubbling spring. This is where earth’s energy enters and flows up the central column.

I spent some time yesterday playing with the experience. When I stop for a moment and drop my awareness into my body I feel constriction that slowly releases. The process feels painful/intense. After the release, what remains feels painful and it takes my complete awareness to stay with it and keep open. As I observe it, I realize my initial definition of pain is not quite right. However, when I label it intense, that doesn’t seem quite right either.

I’ve decided the best way to describe my internal experience is using the term contracture. Contracture, technically, is the shortening of muscles and tendons, after being held in a shortened position for long periods of time. I have experienced temporary contracture for years. When I squat down and bend over to weed a section of garden, I find my muscles get stuck in that position and it takes a few seconds for them to release when I return to a standing position. At first I can only hunch over when I stand up, but slowly I am able to straighten up. There is some pain/discomfort associated with the release, but the feelings are only temporary. (This is no longer as much of an issue since I started using an infared heating pad.)

A simple way of thinking about contracture is that it is getting stuck in a certain position because of prolonged holding. I use this term here to refer to our habitual ways of thinking and living. Releasing a contracture results in short-term discomfort followed by greater freedom, choice and possibility, This best describes my internal experience as well. When I bring my attention back to my body, the constriction, that I have been unconsciously doing, releases with a moment of discomfort. However, the “pain” or “intensity” that led to my contraction still remains and it takes conscious effort not to clamp down again.

Anyone that has been in intense pain or chronic pain realizes that just maintaining normalcy can take a great deal of energy. In addition, there is a tendency to want to escape from the pain or create distractions to diminish the experience of pain. Given the level of “pain” my body is in, I am predictably more and more compulsive around food. Food is my drug of choice and despite of how ineffective it is, I am drawn to it in an attempt to relieve my pain and discomfort.

My experience has been going on for a over a month now. At first, I figured the underlying pain would pass in a few days and I would be restored to more inner peace. Instead, the turmoil continues to rage within. This inner turmoil has no face and seems to be beyond words. Every time I try to go back to my normal activities it reasserts its demand on my attention by triggering my food addiction. Still, it will not tell me its name, nor let me evict it from my being.

The Cat is back

Posted on November 19, 2015 by Dorena

Last year a cat claimed TESLI as its own. Although I was not thrilled, it only became a problem when he started scaring away all the birds. You may recall how I watched in terror as he plucked a fowl from my birdbath.

I spent sometime debating what to do about the cat and found I was pretty much in non-action. Then when the neighbor’s feral cat had kittens, I decided I needed to at least have him fixed. I ordered my traps from the spay and neuter clinic and set the date for his procedure.

As soon as I got the trap I realized that I would not be able to release him back into my yard. I did not want the beast killing any more animals under my nose. I wanted a peaceful yard again. If I was going to have him in a trap he was going to be released somewhere else.

When relocating animals you must be mindful of the distance. Rodents are good when released at least 3 miles away. When I lived at the Cochise Stronghold, that is about the distance I would drive to release the mice that I was relocating from my trailer. I know that larger animals such as cats and raccoons require over 10 miles of distance for a successful relocation. I think 25 miles is recommended if an animal has settled in.

Due to my ambivalence, I choose a location that was suitable for rodent release, but really not far enough away for cat release. Given the terrain I thought the location would prevent the cat from returning both because of the predators (including four-lane highways) and abundant prey/food available. I was also allowing the possibility of him finding his way back to TESLI.

Back at TESLI, I was pleased with the rapid return of birds in the yard. And, when the cat did not return the first week, I felt secure that he had found a new home. Yet, last night when I drove in I saw a black shadow sweep across my porch. Was I hallucinating?

No. This morning his gray form could be clearly seen under the front bushes. This is one of his favorite places to wait and watch for the birds to come to the bath. I was simultaneously happy to see him and felt like a burden had been laid at my feet. The cat and the cat shit were back. Bye-bye birds. It took him a month to find his way back to my sanctuary.

Preparing a Garden Bed in Arizona

Posted on November 9, 2015 by Dorena

I was recently asked if I compost. In a world were composting often means making a pile of vegetative waste, keeping it moist and turning it often, I would have to say no. I am much too lazy for that. However, I do save all my organic kitchen waste, as well as my vegetative yard waste, and I recycle it back into the soil. This post will discuss my method.

Authentic urban compost can converted from city trash cans. Only $5 at the Phoenix Dump. Choice of colors and sizes. Complete with graffiti!

I use a combination of “double-digging” and “layering” to make vegetative waste disappear in just a few months. But first, before I start digging, I usually accumulate quite a bit of waste. This I store in large converted trash cans that I purchased from the City of Phoenix. These come with holes drilled out for aeration and the bottoms cut off. Pick up yours today at the dump. Click here for more information.

Here is my method.

Click on the pictures to see them full size.

Ready to become garden.

First step is to wet the ground.

Then I scrape out the wet surface to create a basin.

Basin filled with water. The scrapings go in the wheel barrow

I fill the basin a couple of times. Once the water has soaked in I am ready to dig.

The soil is much easier to dig when moist. This shows that only a couple inches down, it is bone dry still.

Dig out soil until the hole is two feet deep

21 inches is close enough for me.

Here are some fresh weeds and dried leaves I need to get rid of.

Doesn’t matter how you put it in. Here I put the leaves in first.

Then I put some fresh weeds next.

I added fresh kitchen waste next.

Then more leaves. The dog is looking for that kitchen waste.

Now comes the dirt. I start digging the next section and put that soil on top of the compostables.

I buy mulch or compost from my local landscape supply.

The compost is the next layer

Then I alternate dirt with compost.

The first section will end up mounded. That is fine. You will pull the soil back later onto the second section.

I enjoy mixing the top layers of soil and compost together by hand. I break up clods and remove any large rocks.

When the second section is deep enough I start the process over.

Here the first and second sections are done. The next area is being scraped and getting ready to be soaked.

This is the finished bed at the end of the summer season. All that vegetable material is done rotting and often times the bed will settle and be lower than ground level. Nice basin for moisture.

I am into keeping things simple and efficient. I like to garden about an hour a day. My method is conducive to this. Wet it one day, dig some the next day, fill in the next day, dig some more the next day, etc. However, I’ve also done this at a recovery center where hard core workers dug out the entire (rock solid) bed in a couple hours. Definitely harder work than I want to do. If you are trying to remove Bermuda grass at the same time, the ground definitely needs to be moist or pieces of the rhizomes will break off and sprout later.

I’ve used this method in a variety of ways. Sometimes I just dig one big hole and slowly fill it with kitchen waste, etc. Other times I use a smaller hole to get rid of a smaller amount of kitchen waste. If I am replanting a bed, I usually do not go down as deep. The deep hole is best when you are starting a garden to maximize the aeration and nutrition of the soil.

The Enlightenment & Simple Living Institute

Author Archives: Dorena

Contracture

The Cat is back

Preparing a Garden Bed in Arizona

Here is my method.

Click on the pictures to see them full size.