Author Archives: Dorena

Why you cannot be anything you want

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I am scheduled to go into a six week retreat on July 15th.  Now, that I have most of my stuff in order for the retreat, I am asking myself about what I need to do to prepare for September – post retreat.  “Is there anything I need to do now, that would support the expansion I am intending for the fall?”

The first natural question is, “What do you want the expansion to look like?”  Pretty basic question, but I forget sometimes.  I tend to think about what is “possible” or what is possible for September 2015, instead of what would work for me long term.

Many years ago I did an intensive study on myself.  When I first introduced TELSI I wrote a little bit about this process.  Today, I got back out the results of my study, because I noticed something was not quite right about my visioning process.  Specifically, I was thinking about teaching ongoing internal arts development classes (chi gung, tai chi, etc.) and something about that wasn’t sitting right.  I have taught Chi Gung and internal arts practices before and would like to develop something new that integrates all the things I know.

One look at the summary of my skills and I can see that teaching ongoing classes is not going to keep my attention for long.  If I choose to do this, I will need to create something bigger or I will get bored.  And I am ready for something bigger.

Since, the personal study I did has been so valuable for me over the years, I want to share with you the tools that I used.  As I mentioned in the earlier post I used the book Zen and the Art of Making a Living to determine my mission statement:

I am here to live simply, enjoy life, reach my highest human potential and encourage (inspire) others to do the same.

When I did my initial study I also purchased too other books:  One was I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was and the other was Why You Can’t Be Anything You Want to Be.  I was intrigued by the opposite messages of the titles.

I actually found the second book to be the most helpful.  It walks you through a process of looking at the most satisfying events in your life (yes, they all can be from childhood) and analyzing them to discover the common elements.  The common elements help you formulate a “Motivational Ability Pattern” or MAP that can be used to determine if a job or career situation is a good match to your unique personality.  Here is mine:

I work best when I am presented with a problem or need in my fields of interest including alternative medicine, healing, transformative processes, personal recovery/growth, or spirituality. I like to look into the background of the situation by reading and/or observing and integrating/analyzing what I know so that I can organize the information to give to others or use systematically to solve the problem.  I like to physically accomplish the task using tools, equipment, computers and/or machines and create a presentation or document for others.  In order to feel satisfied I need to have accomplished my goal and produced something that creates ease in the lives of other people while maintaining respect for the overall ecosystem.  I like to work with support “authority” staff that is available to help me when I need it, otherwise allowing me to work independently.

A few years later I expanded my personal analysis by adding information from What Color Is Your Parachute?This book walks you through a process of determining:

  • favorite skills
  • favorite interests
  • geography (where do you want to live)
  • favorite types of people
  • how do you want to feel
  • favorite goals
  • favorite working environment
  • favorite values
  • preferred income and level of responsibility

 

For instance, my favorite skills are prioritized by my ability to do them and interest in doing them.  People that know me as a teacher or healer are often surprised when I tell them that those talents are not my strongest skills.  Indeed, teaching falls at number 4 and healing is at the bottom of the list at number 6.

  1. Organizing data or things – creating efficiency – creating systems – planning – optimizing systems
  2. Analyzing – solving problems –
  3. Researching – studying – learning new things
  4. Teaching – training – sharing what I’ve learned with others – writing procedures or informational documents – creating presentations
  5. Guiding – motivating – advising – supervising – leading others
  6. Healing – supporting transformation in others

 

As I plan for the fall, I need to keep in mind that I need to create a business that is big enough so I can organize, analyze, and research.  Currently I’ve managed to keep myself satisfied by using the income from teaching and healing to provide me with time to blog and write books.  Business development itself will keep my organizational and analytical parts satisfied.  I will develop a business where I can turn over teaching and healing components to others over time while I develop the cutting line and fresh classes.







Fire Element

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Summer is upon us. In the five element system, summer is ruled by fire element.  This is an extremely expansive season.  The extra fire from the sun fuels plant growth and expansion.  Lots of yang energy, which means, heat, fruition, passion, expansion, and glory.  The fire element is all about an external show of power, form and structure.

Mandala for the Fire Element

Mandala for the Fire Element

Summer in Phoenix is a good example of what excess fire/yang energy can do.  In Phoenix, the excess fire scorches the earth and instead of expansion we experience a withering of resources and energy.  Usually the water element is activated to balance and subdue fire.  We experience this as the summer monsoons.  The rain pours down to temper the effects of the summer heat. Good to prevent the fire element from turning everything to dust!

Similarly, too much fire in the body is experienced as inflammation and eruptions.  If balance is not restored, the internal organs can fall apart from the scorching action of the fire element.  The treatment?  Much like the desert monsoons, one can find relief with cooling substances such as anti-oxidant rich juices and herbs like burdock and dandelion root.  In contrast, conditions where fire is lacking, including indigestion, are benefited by things that create fire, such as the spices like cloves, cardamon, and ginger.

Sometimes it is not so clear how to treat digestive disturbances.  For instance, lack of “fire” in the stomach can result in intestinal ulcers (a fire condition) or other inflammatory conditions of the gut (cramping, gas and bloating).  From an allopathic perspective treatment for an ulcer involves suppressing fire by the use of anti-acids.  From a traditional perspective, the cause of the ulcer would need to be determined first.  Some people get ulcers from hyper-secretion of acid while others get ulcers from hypo-secretion of acid.  One situation calls for a cooling action the other requires more fuel be added to the fire.

Choice

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During the ThetaHealing® Class I taught over the weekend the question of choice came up.

Do we choose to be born as a human on earth?

Do we choose our parents?

Do we choose a purpose for this life?

I argued “no”.  However, on other occasions, I also teach people that everything is a choice.  So which is it?  Is everything a choice or not?

While everything is a choice, it is the nature of the choice that really negates most choices as not being true choices.  What do I mean?

Consider the following analogy.  You are offered a choice blue carbetween a red car and a blue car.  The dealer says they both work great.  Which one do you choose?  I decide I like blue.  I jump in my new blue car and start driving.  Half way home the bumper rattles loose and the car overheats.

I chose a car that “works well” and what I got is one that doesn’t work.

So, did I have a choice or not?  Depending on my perspective and mood I may say, “Yes I did have a choice” or “No I didn’t really have a choice”.

I think most readers can agree that there is something in our mind that attracts what we have in our lives.  In this way we create our lives.  It is the movement of our mind that creates the world around us.  Since it is our mind that is doing the creating it appears like we are choosing.  Yet are we?

The issue is similar to the car that was supposed to work well, but didn’t.  The reality we are presented with is deceptive.  If we are not getting accurate information, how can we possibly make an informed decision?  Further, our thinking and ability to make a choice is is tainted by judgments and emotions that cloud rational decision making.  We tend to be reactive rather that proactive.

I like the way the Buddhists explain this conundrum best. They say we are forced to be reborn over and over, because at the moment of death, whatever the mind is doing or whatever the predominate occupation of the mindstream during the person’s lifetime will naturally create the next moment of mind and the next form the person takes.

For instance if a person dies after a lifetime of feeling jealously over what other people have (even if they are rich) their mind will continue to feel this lack and create of life of poverty.  The new-agers might say “They chose to be poor to learn how to live without.”  The Buddhists might say, “They were forced to be poor because it was their karma.”  Both systems acknowledge that the “state of poverty” is one that can be changed at anytime.  All that is needed is a change the  “thoughts” or “beliefs”  of “karma” that hold it in place.

Similarly, life purposes, or actions that are driven by some unseen force, are often based on misconceptions.  For instance, the feeling that “I have to take care of my family, even if it means self-sacrifice” could be coming from a need to be approved.  One could be reacting to someone judging them wrong (this life or past) for not doing more for others.  Or it could be that the person feels guilty about their family dying in a fire in the last life while they were out with friends.  In this case, they are driven by some unseen and unacknowledged fear of disaster and the erroneous belief that they could do something to prevent it.  Indeed, the person may actually strongly feel, “I have to protect my family”.

Note:  Choosing to take care of our family is different than the drive to take care of our family that is created by the “I have to…”.

In our current condition, most of our actions are controlled by the subconscious mind.  With this in mind, I don’t think we consciously make many choices.  And if by chance we do consciously make a decision it is based on inaccurate information or limiting beliefs.  In addition, sometimes whatever we choose is outside current possibilities.  So, once again we do not really get to choose.

For instance, many years ago I decided to not get angry any more.  Anger is a waste of time and energy.  Right?  Yet, just a couple days ago I got angry when I saw that a company has mischarged my credit card.  In that moment, I was aware that anger was arising, but I was powerless to change that emotional reaction by choosing to do so.  Of course, I could choose to not feed the anger fuel, but that first automatic reaction was still driving me.

What would it take to live from a place of true choice?

What would it take to be free of automatic reactions?