Category Archives: Spirituality

Goals

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I have had so many ideas that I have wanted to write about in the past month.  Despite how much pleasure I derive from writing, I have chosen to do other things that are not quite as fun – mainly homework. My greatest challenge is my cultural awareness class where I was asked to explore and embrace my “identity” which is in complete opposition to my spiritual goal of exposing my identity as a flimsy construct.  I had a little bit of an internal revolt when faced with the assignment.  Thank goodness I was able to soften and complete the task.

Right now one of my goals is to complete all my classwork for February by the end of January.  This means four more full days of homework.  Why would I do this?  Well, I have another goal of spending more time in practice.  Which is just an extension of my goal to become enlightened and know peace.  My plan is to dedicate February to more intensive practice, but I have already tripled my formal practice in anticipation of this.  I encourage everyone to simply double the time they are meditating and practicing internal arts and see what that does for them.

Setting a goal and keeping a goal is simply a matter of keeping cognizant of what you want in your life.  When I reviewed what I wanted in my life and what my activities were, I made the following changes:

  1. Dropped a day at the spa – I now work only two days there and am considering dropping it completely
  2. Decided to finish my associates degree in substance use disorders – this was an intuitive yes, but I can also see how it contributes to my own growth and my potential to help others
  3. Committed to 200,000 mantras for the year – half focused on removing obstacles and the other on the six perfections  (I already have 38,000 completed)
  4. Dropped weekly group at my house that was not contributing to my goals
  5. Committed to a new food plan that allows me more freedom, keeps me feeling great, and helps keep me aware of my addictive cravings
  6. Began setting things up so that I could have additional retreat time
  7. Limited social contacts and meaningless chatter
  8. Nurtured my home based clientele by obtaining new training, expanding my services, and creating space for new clientele
  9. Dropped recreational activities like movie watching
  10. Limited home improvement projects

 

I have some people imply that I should have more fun.  Hey, just because I refuse a social activity does not mean that I do not say yes to an activity that nourishes me and is alignment with my practice.  I had other people comment that I was too rigid, especially in regards to my food.  If an alcoholic adamantly says “No” to beer or a diabetic adamantly says “No” to sugar is that being too rigid?  Perhaps it is, but it also seems very self-serving.

Remember toNourishment

Thoughtfully consider what it is you wish to nourish;  thoughtfully consider what will best nourish it.

To thine ownself be true.

(Hexagram symbol for nourishment from the I Ching.)

Tao Te Ching Verse 76

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One of my all time favorite verses:

When born, humans are supple and yielding;

in death, they turn hard and rigid.

All things, when living, are soft and pliable;

and dead, dry and brittle.

 

Therefore to be stiff and unbending is the way of death,

and to be supple and yielding is the way of life.

 

An army that cannot yield will be defeated.

A tree that cannot bend will crack in the wind.

 

Thus by nature’s own decree:

the hard and stiff will be laid low,

and the soft and gentle will rise up.

 

 

Doubt and Motivation

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If I offered you $100 or $200 which would you take?

$200 of course.  But studies indicate that some people actually prefer the $100.  A friend of mine does research in behavioral marketing.  One of her recent studies explored the interaction between size of reward and time from reward and how that influenced people’s choices.

Yes, people will take the $200 if it is a simple choice between $200 and $100, but if they are offered a choice between $100 now or $200 at a later date, their decision is influenced by how long they have to wait to receive the $200.  They might go for the $200 if it is next week, but if it is next year they most often opt for the $100 now.

This phenomena also explains why people engage in addictive behaviors and do not eat or exercise in ways that support their long term health.  I’ve discussed this before in an earlier post:  How drug addiction is like heart disease.  We tend to value short term rewards over larger and more valuable long term rewards.  This is seen on all levels of human activity from environmental policy where short term profits are valued over the long term cost of pollution to healthy activities where the comfort of an alternative activity (e.g. watching TV, sleeping in) is valued over the beneficial activity (going for a walk, meditating).

This willingness to sell ourselves short is really due to two things:  1) doubt that the distant reward will manifest as planned and 2) lack of motivation.  These are two of the classic obstacles to spiritual development or adopting and maintaining any healthy behavior.  Doubt is the one to tackle first, since lack of motivation can actually be a manifestation of doubt.

If we doubt that an activity will benefit us, we will naturally have low motivation to engage in that activity.  If part of us knows that the activity is our best choice, but other parts are lagging behind, then our first goal will be to dispel any last vestiges of doubt.  The best way to do so is to thoroughly investigate the activity.  We can do this investigation by using the internet, talking with authorities, or by finding out from others if the activity has benefited them.

If we cannot decide if the new activity will really give us the results we want, sometimes it is helpful to compare and contrast our current activities to the proposed one.  Then the question is which one would benefit us the most.  Once all doubt is gone, motivation may naturally arise.  Certainly this type of investigation activates motivation.

If motivation is still lagging, then the key is to put oneself in a environment where the activity is the norm.  If you want to give up TV and start walking more, then hanging out with TV watchers will naturally demotivate you, while having friends that walk a lot will inspire you.

Reviewing your reasons for undertaking the change is also a good way to stay motivated.  In addition, it is useful to spend time affirming your goals and staying cognizant of what behavior contributes to positive growth and what behavior doesn’t.  The time to do this is well before you start struggling with motivation.  Prevention is the best way to stay motivated.