Tag Archives: mindfulness

Denial

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Denial means the act of declaring something is not true.  A simple enough word, but the way people use the word has become somewhat of a pet peeve for me.  I find that people use it in a derogatory way when they are judging another person’s actions and/or their stage of change level.  As commonly used, if I say you are in denial, what I am really saying is that I have the only truth.  And, perhaps, I know your truth better than you.

I’m not sure where our use of the word got off track.  It feels quite neutral to say that someone denies something, e.g. for many years I denied that eating saturated fats and eggs caused heart disease.  However, to say one is “in denial” feels charged, e.g. I was in denial that eating saturated fats and eggs caused heart disease.  “Being in denial”, inherently means I’m wrong, when it should just mean I don’t agree with something.

Consider the saturated fats and eggs example.  For many years, the mainstream thought that these items needed to be avoided for a healthy heart.  I denied this reality and, despite heart disease running in my family, continued to have the best cardiovascular system in my family.  Now, the mainstream has come around to my way of thinking.  Would I say they were in denial all those years?  Doesn’t that seem like a silly use of the term?  Perhaps they would have disagreed (denied) that my way is healthy, but it would seem strange to say they were in denial.

The “authorities” had taken all the available information and come to a different conclusion than me.  Then the mainstream had followed their advice. (I started to say they followed it “mindlessly” but realized that would be adding a judgement. Let’s just say they followed it without examining it further.)   In some traditions (Buddhism), this would not be called denial, but ignorance.  “Everybody” in my saturated fat example was simply ignorant of the truth.

The word ignorant rubs me wrong as well.  Inherent in the way it is commonly used, it suggests a mental deficiency, instead of just a simple and temporary not knowing. I prefer the term awareness.

Sometimes one is not aware that something is really a problem because no time has been taken to examine the situation objectively. This is the case when people accept things at face value, or accept information from people that they trust without examining it personally.

Other times people may be aware they are having a problem, but they ignore it because they cannot imagine an alternative or they think this is just how it is.  This is the case of the alcoholic/drug user that is surrounded by others that are drinking, using, getting DUIs and calling in sick to work due to hangovers.  It just doesn’t seem like a problem because it is normal.  I wouldn’t call that person in denial, they are just not aware of the alternative and/or aren’t looking for an alternative because they are already “normal”.

I think Socrates may sum it up best…

The unexamined life is not worth living.

-Socrates

Second Path

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In Buddhism there seems to be a lot of lists and steps and stages.  We have the Three Principal Paths, the Ten Bodhisattva Bhumis, The Seven Step Method to achieving Bodhichitta, etc.  There are also two other ways, besides the Three Principal Paths, to organize the realizations needed for enlightenment that are called the Five Paths and the Four Paths.

The Four Paths or Four Stages of Enlightenment are an organizing structure that is part of Theraveda teachings.  The first path is stream-entry.  The second path is a once-returner.  The third path is a non-returner and the fourth path is an arahant or enlightened person.  Sometimes people consider obtainment of first path, enlightenment, so you have to watch your terms.

I’ve been thinking about second path a lot lately.  The task of the second path is ending all craving especially:  1) the desire for sensual pleasures and 2) the aversion towards unpleasant things.  Although I have not had a direct experience of no-self (or emptiness), which some people consider a requisite for first path, I am intrigued by the possibility of ending all cravings.

It is clear to me that my gross cravings for my drug of choice are unpleasant, but I am becoming more and more aware that all of my subtler cravings are also tiring and useless.  And, unfortunately it is most likely that these subtle cravings are in control of much of my behavior.  How can I possibly get rid of them all?!

I was talking to Master Culadasa of the Dharma Treasure Buddhist Sangha about this just last month.  First, the task of getting rid of cravings is a task of someone that has already achieved, and perhaps solidified, their first path position.  It is not a task of someone in an earlier stage of spiritual development.

(Ahhhh, yes, I need to be able to walk before I can run and dance. Never mind that I feel ready to fly.)

Let’s take a peak into the future.

Once you get the realization that the only acceptable state of mind is one free from craving, Master Culadasa, says that you will then seek to eradicate craving by putting yourself into situations where it arises and turning your mindfulness on it. For instance, you go for ice cream and watch craving arise when you enter the store and as soon as you take the first bite you watch craving arise for the second bite, etc..

Now this is the opposite action that people with addiction are advised to do.  In early recovery you want to avoid your drug of choice and the people, places and things associated with it in order to avoid uncontrollable cravings. Unfortunately, this can be very hard to do and it is not unheard of for people to relapse due to cravings arising from a trigger.

However, the idea of seeking out triggers when you have the proper support is an idea supported by the information in the Pharmacology of Addiction class I’m taking. If the sight of something associated with your drug use gives you cravings or a physiological change, then it is better to desensitize yourself before you encounter that something without support.  This means actively putting yourself in situations that trigger cravings and not using  – so the body can establish a new predictable reaction to the trigger.

In dog training language this is called extinguishing a behavior.  Lets say your dog likes to bark and you don’t like the noise.  The trick is to teach your dog to bark and consistently reward it whenever it does.  Then, to extinguish the behavior all you need to do is never reward the dog again and the behavior will die out.  However, if you are inconsistent and reward it one more time or intermittently, the behavior will persist, perhaps forever.

Once again we see that addictive cravings may be on the same continuum with regular everyday cravings given the same advice is offered to eliminate them.  The idea is to not react when craving arises, but to turn mindfulness upon it. Mindfulness leads to wisdom and wisdom is the tool that cut all dysfunctional behavior.

I find that not feeding my cravings only makes them stronger:  what I resists persists.  This perhaps supports Master Culadasa’s point that the task of removing cravings is appropriate after first path has been reached.  I feel like I am weak-willed, but the truth is I’m simply powerless to make the change at this stage.  The power to make the change is given by the wisdom obtained in spiritual practice leading up to second path.  Not only are we given power at that time, but also the motivation and desire to eradicate cravings.

 

Thought Addiction

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Yesterday we began a discussion of checking out reality by observing our mind.  One of the first things you notice when you begin to watch the mind is that you cannot find anyone in control of it.  It seems to “have a mind of its own”.  In reality the 90% of our mind that is subconscious is what is actually ruling the show.  The 10% that is conscious is what makes it through the filters of our subconscious. How to establish a unified mind will be the topic of a future post.  Today, lets talk about one type of automatic thought pattern.

This pattern I call thought addiction.  It involves repetitious thoughts that lead to chemical changes in the body. Here is a personal example of it in action.

About two months ago, my work settled down into a nice pattern.  I had lost a major client earlier in the year, but a second client showed up with additional work.  As I planned a summer vacation, I noticed that I was constantly thinking about how great my work was.  I also kept noting how for the first time in over five years I had enough money to cover my expenses.  These thought were quite pleasant, but also quite repetitious.

I realized how much energy was going into repeating these thoughts over and over.  The pay off was that they were pleasant and I imagined that they helped me release some happy chemical as I repeated them again and again.  This is why I called it a thought addiction.  In my case I was addicted to a happy chemical, but I imagine many people use obsessive worry to produce a similar change in biochemistry.  Other people find the chemicals released with anger to be stimulating as well.

The release of happy chemicals is one of the premises behind the power of positive thinking.  I was learning first hand how thinking positively actually makes one feel better.  I can appreciate that this practice releases a powerful endogenous drug, however, I’m actually trying to weed out all addiction and behaviors that are based on clinging to certain states.  I can imagine a better state beyond such petty addiction.

Yesterday, I noticed a similar thing happening as I performed my last massage.  I kept thinking about my day off today and what I was going to do.  Again, I can only see the purpose as creating “happy chemicals”.  I was avoiding the moment and the richness of the moment, perhaps because I was a little tired and the massage was a two hour one so the novelness of the activity was wearing off.

True freedom comes when I no longer distract myself from the moment by essentially meaningless thoughts.  True freedom comes with equanimity and equanimity comes from the insights that are gained by exploring and investigating how I think and act.