In 1996 or 1997, about two years after I had left an abusive relationship, I was in my osteopath’s office. My internal arts teacher was also there. I was complaining of an energy block in my third chakra. It was chronic and persistent. My osteopath was working on opening my energy and getting it flowing when he asked my teacher’s opinion. My teacher came over to take a look, then said, “I’m not going in there” as he backed away.
Oh my goodness, was it that bad? And what was it? My teacher referred me to Anne Mackenzie an energy healer and intuitive. The initial session took hours. She removed everything that was ready to go from the multiple energy bodies that we all have.
The third chakra is about our self will, our personal power, and our ability to assert ourselves in the world. What Anne “saw” in my third chakra was a huge stake – about four inches in diameter. It was the accumulative affects of the verbal abuse from my previous partner.
I had thought that I was not taking on the “crap” my partner was putting out. I was aware that he was a “sick” person and thought that was my defense against internalizing his messages. However, the conscious mind is only 15% of my mind and apparently the 85% of my mind that was subconscious was not only believing his messages, it was holding on to them.
That relationship had ended two years prior and I had naively thought it was done and over. I had never dreamed that I was suffering from long term effects. Needless to say, Anne pulled the stake out and got rid of it. My feeling of blockage was relieved.
What I learned was that “sticks and stones can hurt my bones, and words can damage my energy body.” I also learned that my ability to “let words slide off my back” was not as strong as I thought.
I am now more aware of the effects of words and subtle attacks. I also know that the only way people can attack me or insert stakes into my chakras is if I am vulnerable. These vulnerabilities are caused by misbeliefs.
For instance, my mother thinks it is good when people she loves yells at her, since it helps them release the tension they carry. (And carrying tension leads to illness. So she fulfills her need to be helpful by being yelled at.) From her actions we can ascertain that she might have beliefs like: ” I have to tolerate abuse for the good of others” or “other people can only relieve their tension through me”. She might also have, “I am responsible for other people’s health”. The list of related subconscious beliefs goes on and on..
My actions within that abusive relationship suggest I may have internalized my mother’s beliefs about tolerating abuse. Having a belief about being responsible for other people’s pain, would lead me to be vulnerable to other people’s verbal attacks. I might have the tendency to subjugate my power to the needs of other people. These are all beliefs that can be changed.
Avoiding “toxic” people is great when I’m vulnerable. However, it is not a long term solution. I want to heal completely and become invulnerable. Uncovering my misbeliefs and correcting them is the way I obtain freedom from toxic people. If I’m not vulnerable, they are not toxic.
