Category Archives: Spirituality

Contracture

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I have been wrestling with the best way to describe my current experiences.  For instance, when I am walking the nine palaces and I focus on the bubbling spring point at the bottom of my foot I have the immediate experience of something within the core of my being that is hard to describe.  Is it pain?  If so then what is hurting?  Is it an intense feeling of energy?  Yes and no.  It is both painful and intense, yet neither of these words describes it perfectly.

Kidney 1 point at sole of foot

Kidney 1 point at sole of foot. Also known as bubbling spring. This is where earth’s energy enters and flows up the central column.

I spent some time yesterday playing with the experience.  When I stop for a moment and drop my awareness into my body I feel constriction that slowly releases.  The process feels painful/intense.  After the release, what remains feels painful and it takes my complete awareness to stay with it and keep open.  As I observe it, I realize my initial definition of pain is not quite right.  However, when I label it intense, that doesn’t seem quite right either.

I’ve decided the best way to describe my internal experience is using the term contracture.  Contracture, technically, is the shortening of muscles and tendons, after being held in a shortened position for long periods of time.  I have experienced temporary contracture for years.  When I squat down and bend over to weed a section of garden, I find my muscles get stuck in that position and it takes a few seconds for them to release when I return to a standing position.  At first I can only hunch over when I stand up, but slowly I am able to straighten up.  There is some pain/discomfort associated with the release, but the feelings are only temporary. (This is no longer as much of an issue since I started using an infared heating pad.)

A simple way of thinking about contracture is that it is getting stuck in a certain position because of prolonged holding.  I use this term here to refer to our habitual ways of thinking and living.  Releasing a contracture results in short-term discomfort followed by greater freedom, choice and possibility,  This best describes my internal experience as well.  When I bring my attention back to my body, the constriction, that I have been unconsciously doing, releases with a moment of discomfort.  However, the “pain” or “intensity” that led to my contraction still remains and it takes conscious effort not to clamp down again.

Anyone that has been in intense pain or chronic pain realizes that just maintaining normalcy can take a great deal of energy.  In addition, there is a tendency to want to escape from the pain or create distractions to diminish the experience of pain.  Given the level of “pain” my body is in, I am predictably more and more compulsive around food.  Food is my drug of choice and despite of how ineffective it is, I am drawn to it in an attempt to relieve my pain and discomfort.

My experience has been going on for a over a month now.  At first, I figured the underlying pain would pass in a few days and I would be restored to more inner peace.  Instead, the turmoil continues to rage within.  This inner turmoil has no face and seems to be beyond words.  Every time I try to go back to my normal activities it reasserts its demand on my attention by triggering my food addiction.  Still, it will not tell me its name, nor let me evict it from my being.

 

 

Kali Transforms TESLI

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The six foot Kali Mandala glowed magnificently under the influence of a black light last night.  One of the participants, Kayt Gordon, called the mandala “off the wall”  – literally – as she kept seeing it transform, leap off the wall, and enter the circle as another participant while us humans meditated with movement and dance.

Kali Ritual MandalaHere is the daytime view.  Kali Mandala on the new sound wall that Bob and I installed this last week.  Much less noise from the neighbors industrial HVAC unit.

Goddess Mandala at TESLIWith the break of dawn today, I took down the masterpiece who’s creation consumed my time this past week.  I was reminded of the sand mandalas created by Tibetan Buddhists – medicine that captures an energy that is meant to be used and what remains is allowed to pass away.

kali-mandala

Originally my plan was to move the sacred art into my healing room.  This morning, I contemplated and alternative plan.  I could just leave it on the wall to fade in the sun.  That felt good.  However, I finally decided that I would put it on the front of the house where more people could enjoy it.  That will take a little effort – the house is made of stucco and not as friendly to work with as wood, but I have a plan.

kali-mandala-dark

The next Goddess Wisdom event will be on December 26th.  We will be celebrating Hestia, the goddess of eternal light and the hearth.  Mark you calendars.  I sense another mandala will be there to bless us all.

Goddess Wisdom Series

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The Goddess Wisdom Series begins its 2015-2017 season this Saturday with a Kali Ritual/Circle.  (More information and RSVP.)  The intention of the series is to use sacred ritual to create change, transformation, and greater ease in the lives of the participants.  Much of our actions in the world are controlled by subconscious reactions and programming that we often cannot simply force into alignment with our conscious intentions. An effective way to move the subconscious is through the use of sacred ritual.

While it is possible to attend each circle as a stand-alone event.  The series is designed to allow people to use the support of the divine feminine to create transformation in their lives.  Each event builds on the previous and flows into the subsequent.

The series begins with Kali, because often times it ekajatiis more effective to build a new reality after clearing away the obstacles to change and discarding the old.  Kali is the goddess that removes obstacles to spiritual progress. During this time when the veils between the worlds is the thinnest we will use the powerful transformative energy that Kali brings to facilitate the removal of confusion, attachments, and deep rooted dsyfunctional habits.

One can come to the Kali event ready to release whatever needs to go in order to be ready for the generative stage of creation or can use the event as a spring board for releasing work that will continue in the days and weeks after the event.  If you can not make the event, this is a good time to join us energetically and do your own ritual ato home.

Then, on December 26th, we will have the festival of Hestia, the goddess of eternal light.  After our releasing work is complete we are ready to kindle that light within us.  During the darkest part of the year we will use the energy of Hestia to allow self-nurturance penetrate to our deepest core.  (More information and RSVP.)

As the days grow longer again we will celebrate our creative energy and begin to institute our changes with Brigit on Jan 30, 2016.  Brigit is the Celtic goddess that rules over computer programming, other high arts, and healing.  Her energy will help us transform our vision into reality on the physical plane.
quanyinMarch 26, 2016 is the festival day of the great Bodhisattva Quan Yin (Avalokitesvara in Sanskrit).  On our path to actualization we may find that deeper work is needed to get the results we want.  Here we will call upon the goddess whom “hears all the calls of the world” as a powerful allay to aid in resolving past trauma and resentments so that we can know the true peace that comes with detachment, acceptance and the realization of our interconnectedness.
In the remainder of 2016 and into 2017 we will continue our celebrations with Mother Mary, Futura, Mandarava, and Venus.