Tonight I plan to attend my first speed dating event. As I mentioned in Deconditioning Ground, I started using social networking sites like Meet-Up to expand my contacts with potential partners. I first bumped into speed dating on such a networking site. However, at the time, I was working on the nights the events were held.
Since I left my spa position in May, I am now free to explore the world of speed dating. It is interesting to note that I am no longer that interested in finding a relationship. So why speed dating? Well, I am curious about who I am now. My primary objective is to observe my reactions and to see if I can connect with people as they are. I am truly interested in experiencing different people. Kind of like going to the zoo.
I have always been weird. Indeed, in the past when I was looking for a match, I could not have imagined finding someone that would be like me and my culture at a professional speed dating event. And now, I’ve gotten so weird that I suspect I may have outgrown even the idea of conventional relationships.
I am curious about the separation I’ve created by labeling myself “weird”. In my weirdness I’ve made a lot of “normal” people uninteresting and undesirable. These are both judgments. They also feel very comfortable. I simply avoid spending time with “regular” people. Of course, now that I am really weird, that includes most everybody.
As I mentioned in the book, I am really focusing on finding out what is beyond judgment. I am curious what I will discover about myself if I put myself in a situation where I am asked to judge someone during a five minute date. How can I decide if I like them enough to be willing to do a second date? What would my criteria be? If I am living without focusing on an outcome what would my criteria be? How about:
- Would it be fun?
- Does my body want to be touched by this person?
- Would it be nurturing?
- Would it be interesting?
- Do I get a “yes” for no particular reason?
What other preparation have I done for the event?
I’ve been reading all the articles on speed dating: what to wear, what not to wear, what to do, what not to do, what questions to ask, what questions not to ask. I have exchanged pictures and texts with my “fashion consultant”: Really, that much cleavage is okay? Can I wear the red heels or would the black be better? Pants or a skirt? Nylons?
The preparation is great fun. I’m all set and ready to go. Black top that a woman in Denmark loaned me for salsa dancing and then insisted I take it home with me. Black skirt, and red heels. That’s it for the clothes. Pretty simple. Although, I am wondering where I “hid” all the jewelry I never wear. Some earrings might be nice. Perhaps, they will still show up….
Stay tuned for the follow up report.